Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent lion.

Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab, he will send you a sign.

Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three seals approach from the south.

2. Never paint your arms indigo.

3. Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Cedcabquaffebomincemhaslab loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

5. Never mention dolphins.