Metcetdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a small, omniscient grasshopper.

Metcetdoss created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metcetdoss, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Metcetdoss, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Metcetdoss' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Metcetdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Metcetdoss in the centre of the settlement.