Parkbigsaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, witty shrew.

Parkbigsaf created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkbigsaf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Parkbigsaf, it will boil you in a big pot.

Parkbigsaf's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Parkbigsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not take Parkbigsaf's name in vain.