Bidjatvab is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, annoying mink.

Bidjatvab created a strange quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidjatvab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bidjatvab, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bidjatvab's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bidjatvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide from blue otters for they are unholy.

3. Never think about eukaryotes.

4. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never hop near aardvarks.