Tonvoncim Pitcidbatxinnab is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow horse.

Tonvoncim Pitcidbatxinnab created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonvoncim Pitcidbatxinnab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tonvoncim Pitcidbatxinnab, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tonvoncim Pitcidbatxinnab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tonvoncim Pitcidbatxinnab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not take Tonvoncim Pitcidbatxinnab's name in vain.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing cyan kilts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your feet.

5. Never pour water over plants.