Canpangun is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, cheerful rhinoceros.

Canpangun created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canpangun, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Canpangun, he will remove you from existence.

Canpangun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Canpangun's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face gray.

2. Canpangun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Frogs are not to be trusted.

5. Hide if four pigs approach from the south.