Hadyakmum is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humorless cow.

Hadyakmum created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Hadyakmum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hadyakmum, it will jump up and down on your head.

Hadyakmum's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Hadyakmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured grasshopers.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.