Timsafhub Bifcussmum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish scorpion.

Timsafhub Bifcussmum created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timsafhub Bifcussmum, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Timsafhub Bifcussmum, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Timsafhub Bifcussmum's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Timsafhub Bifcussmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Never think about optics near otters while wearing pink kilts and balancing eight platinum spheres on your feet.

5. Never talk about special relativity near turtles while wearing violet coats and balancing four gold spheres on your face.