Linnelpan Flatjipsas is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, moody fish.

Linnelpan Flatjipsas created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Linnelpan Flatjipsas, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Linnelpan Flatjipsas, it will destroy your home solar system.

Linnelpan Flatjipsas' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Linnelpan Flatjipsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Linnelpan Flatjipsas loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.