Wonnurlbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, bad-tempered wolf.

Wonnurlbonk created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonnurlbonk, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wonnurlbonk, he will think nothing of it.

Wonnurlbonk's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Wonnurlbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. You must pray to Wonnurlbonk nine times a day.

4. Wonnurlbonk must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never sit near seals.