Latbudflowlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, witless crocodile.

Latbudflowlarn created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Latbudflowlarn, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Latbudflowlarn, he will not invite you to parties.

Latbudflowlarn's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Latbudflowlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never feed garlic to sharks while wearing stockings.