Nelmutgen Mablidcip is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate hamster.

Nelmutgen Mablidcip created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelmutgen Mablidcip, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nelmutgen Mablidcip, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nelmutgen Mablidcip's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Nelmutgen Mablidcip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Nelmutgen Mablidcip loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about comets.