Cemdamnad is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, selfish whale.

Cemdamnad created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemdamnad, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cemdamnad, it will torture you forever.

Cemdamnad's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cemdamnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick doves.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near shrews while wearing black scarves and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Do not kill eagles.