Timpitnurt Rattimlist is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty fish.

Timpitnurt Rattimlist created gold two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timpitnurt Rattimlist, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Timpitnurt Rattimlist, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Timpitnurt Rattimlist's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Timpitnurt Rattimlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat nuts.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Never hop near ants.