Poptailbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring monkey.

Poptailbarn created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Poptailbarn, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Poptailbarn, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Poptailbarn's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Poptailbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Poptailbarn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always wear red.

5. Do not shave your neck.