Xuckvollam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonest aardvark.

Xuckvollam created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckvollam, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Xuckvollam, he will curse you with boils.

Xuckvollam's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Xuckvollam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Xuckvollam loves horses, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.