Zakflatbag is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awe-inspiring shark.

Zakflatbag created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakflatbag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zakflatbag, she will turn you into a worm.

Zakflatbag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zakflatbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Always help moths.