Xucpogyok is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, cheerful crow.

Xucpogyok created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Xucpogyok, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xucpogyok, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Xucpogyok's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Xucpogyok's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat oranges.

4. Always look after injured seals.

5. Never think ill of sick mice.