Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, calm walrus.

Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig, she will not care at all.

Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to doves while wearing yellow corsets.

2. Always help sharks.

3. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Cidkophabgabbonkfadkon Nurtvegfig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about gravity near hamsters while wearing green shoes and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your back.