Yaklaklinnull is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, emotional troll.

Yaklaklinnull created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Yaklaklinnull, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yaklaklinnull, it will turn you into a worm.

Yaklaklinnull's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Yaklaklinnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest magenta.

2. Never wear gray shorts.

3. Do not hurt moths.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.