Barn is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, contented guinea pig.

Barn created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Barn, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Barn, she will turn you into a frog.

Barn's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Barn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near grasshopers while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing seven nickel spheres on your head.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Barn in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.