Pidtonkfig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, cheerful bat.

Pidtonkfig created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pidtonkfig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Pidtonkfig, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Pidtonkfig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pidtonkfig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Pidtonkfig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Run away if four bats approach from the west.