Hitfodyarpjig Targfidved is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, awe-inspiring spider.

Hitfodyarpjig Targfidved created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitfodyarpjig Targfidved, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hitfodyarpjig Targfidved, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hitfodyarpjig Targfidved's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Hitfodyarpjig Targfidved's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not eat onions.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Run away from indigo foxes, for they are unholy.