Rigyikvenhivtit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful swan.

Rigyikvenhivtit created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Rigyikvenhivtit, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rigyikvenhivtit, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Rigyikvenhivtit's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Rigyikvenhivtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Rigyikvenhivtit.

3. Never paint your chest brown.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Rigyikvenhivtit must be the most important thing in your life.