Dongam Lamkipzod is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective pigeon.

Dongam Lamkipzod created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dongam Lamkipzod, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dongam Lamkipzod, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dongam Lamkipzod's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dongam Lamkipzod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Put Dongam Lamkipzod first in all things.

3. Do not kill cats.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Dongam Lamkipzod on top of all buildings.