Lakhamhad is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, contented dingo.

Lakhamhad created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakhamhad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lakhamhad, he will turn you into a dog.

Lakhamhad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lakhamhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Lakhamhad loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Learn three new languages a year.