Yogparkbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast shrew.

Yogparkbaf created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogparkbaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yogparkbaf, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Yogparkbaf's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yogparkbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nematodes.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.