Sitham is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, dishonest bird.

Sitham created the planet Jupiter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitham, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sitham, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Sitham's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Sitham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sitham.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Sitham in the centre of the settlement.