Jonpigbut is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, humane elephant.

Jonpigbut created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonpigbut, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jonpigbut, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jonpigbut's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Jonpigbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Run away if four tapirs approach from the north.

5. Do not keep six porpoises in a large pit.