Lagfid is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, annoying deer.

Lagfid created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagfid, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lagfid, he will strike you with lightening.

Lagfid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Lagfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green boots.

2. Always help sick voles.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Lagfid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Lagfid.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.