Fotlarggof is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish owl.

Fotlarggof created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotlarggof, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fotlarggof, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fotlarggof's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fotlarggof's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near voles while wearing purple stockings.

5. Hide from brown great tits for they are unholy.