Femlinpid is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless fish.

Femlinpid created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Femlinpid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Femlinpid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Femlinpid's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Femlinpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

5. Worship no other gods but Femlinpid.