Boptarplarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic gorilla.

Boptarplarg created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Boptarplarg, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Boptarplarg, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Boptarplarg's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Boptarplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Never feed cherries to pigs while wearing indigo shoes.

3. Snakes are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.