Rowkimrut is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, resourceful monkey.

Rowkimrut created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowkimrut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rowkimrut, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Rowkimrut's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Rowkimrut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Never talk about dark energy near gulls while wearing green corsets and balancing five gold spheres on your feet.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.