Canponnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, selfish goose.

Canponnurt created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canponnurt, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Canponnurt, she will boil you in a big pot.

Canponnurt's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Canponnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never eat beans.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Put Canponnurt first in all things.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near geese while wearing white stockings.