Bedtarpkimstanspagnur is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful lizard.

Bedtarpkimstanspagnur created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedtarpkimstanspagnur, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bedtarpkimstanspagnur, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bedtarpkimstanspagnur's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Bedtarpkimstanspagnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near badgers while wearing cyan dresses and balancing five aluminium spheres on your neck.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Feed all hungry shrews.

5. Never think about stars.