Jiptindav is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, annoying dove.

Jiptindav created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jiptindav, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jiptindav, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Jiptindav's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Jiptindav's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jiptindav.

2. Hide if six gulls approach from the north.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near whales while wearing violet coats.

5. Never mention otters.