Bangarquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, omniscient giraffe.

Bangarquam created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bangarquam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bangarquam, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bangarquam's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bangarquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.