Dogquafpop is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic ferret.

Dogquafpop created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogquafpop, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dogquafpop, it will throw large rocks at you.

Dogquafpop's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dogquafpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never go into blue rooms.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.