Hogcarhad is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered aardvark.

Hogcarhad created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogcarhad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hogcarhad, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hogcarhad's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Hogcarhad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured geese.

2. Never talk about voles.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near bats while wearing violet ear rings.