Dadcinaf is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, astonishing cobra.

Dadcinaf created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadcinaf, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dadcinaf, he will turn you into a sheep.

Dadcinaf's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dadcinaf's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never sing in the presence of ants.

3. Never think about gravity near porpoises while wearing white shorts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your head.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.