Hudvadyim is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, boastful walrus.

Hudvadyim created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hudvadyim, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hudvadyim, it will try to impress you with trees.

Hudvadyim's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Hudvadyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Never feed nuts to horses while wearing gray dresses.

4. Never go into mauve rooms.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.