Wap is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, overgenerous hamster.

Wap created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wap, she will send you a sign.

Wap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Wap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Run away from blue squirrels, for they are unholy.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Wap must be the most important thing in your life.