Bellxucnur is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent coyote.

Bellxucnur created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellxucnur, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bellxucnur, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bellxucnur's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bellxucnur's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six grasshopers approach from the east.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

5. Never talk about fire.