Vangodsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast mink.

Vangodsaw created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vangodsaw, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vangodsaw, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vangodsaw's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Vangodsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never bounce in the presence of pigs.

3. Always help sick tapirs.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Always help porpoises.