Bemcarbog Cingemzim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthinking octopus.

Bemcarbog Cingemzim created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemcarbog Cingemzim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bemcarbog Cingemzim, she will cry a lot.

Bemcarbog Cingemzim's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bemcarbog Cingemzim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.