Arpfadhab Butxintam Vonkdibflis is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful dolphin.

Arpfadhab Butxintam Vonkdibflis created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpfadhab Butxintam Vonkdibflis, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arpfadhab Butxintam Vonkdibflis, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Arpfadhab Butxintam Vonkdibflis' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Arpfadhab Butxintam Vonkdibflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to turtles while wearing red skirts.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never paint your face green.

5. Always obey Arpfadhab Butxintam Vonkdibflis' priests.