Danfigcip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent coyote.

Danfigcip created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Danfigcip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Danfigcip, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Danfigcip's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Danfigcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.