Komomtjig Tipdinfitminhonhivflis is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, intelligent beaver.

Komomtjig Tipdinfitminhonhivflis created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Komomtjig Tipdinfitminhonhivflis, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Komomtjig Tipdinfitminhonhivflis, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Komomtjig Tipdinfitminhonhivflis' most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Komomtjig Tipdinfitminhonhivflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nematodes.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never skip in holy places.