Don Fob is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, all-knowing tapir.

Don Fob created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Don Fob, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Don Fob, he will turn you into a dog.

Don Fob's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Don Fob's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silicon sculptures of Don Fob on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed lots of gooseberries to squirrels while wearing brown dresses.

3. Do not hurt sheep.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Don Fob must be the most important thing in your life.